Probably as personal as I’ll ever get on tumblr.
I know you would think this is stupid, I do too, but as you know, nobody ever cared to hear about our relationship. I’m mad at you. So much hatred I didn’t even know I had in me. You stole me. I trusted you with every inch of my body and you tore my heart apart. I don’t know how you expect me to move on, with out knowing. Knowing what you and I could have been. I know you’ve already moved on. You’re so stubborn. I shouldn’t have called you the other week when I was drunk, you didn’t deserve to hear my voice. I hope you know how I feel, despite things I might have done after we ended things, you have no idea how much “you” still mean to me. The worst part is that my head tells me that you are worthless, undeserving piece of shit, and yet my heart would fall for you all over again. You hurt me. You don’t deserve to know that either. You’re sick. All I wanted was you, to even see your face on a fucking skype conversation, even that was too much to ask. I’ll be fine, as if you cared. I hope you find someone just like me, and I hope they give you nothing in return, steel you away from yourself, and the stomp on your heart like its nothing. However, even then, I don’t even think you could succumb yourself to the feelings that overwhelm me right now and for the past few months. You’re heartless. a liar. evil.
I say all these things and I feel them too, but I know if I saw you in this moment, right now, I would give myself to you, in complete submission to you. Why did you do this to me? I’m fucked up now. You ruined it, my first real love, I’ll never have that again, nor do I want it, because of you.